Love The Way You Lie
by xXxSexyZexyxXx
Summary: I love him. Or, at least I tried. Akuroku. Song Fic. Character death. One-shot. Rated T for violence.


**This is a song fic inspired by "Love the way you lie" by Eminem. I suggest you listen to the song on repeat while reading this. I've wanted to write this for about a month now XD So, enjoy, and more updates come soon on my other stories!**

**WARNING: Yaoi, OOC, character death, abuse**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Square Enix characters or Eminem or his music. **

_Just gunna stand there and watch me burn?_

_Well, that's alright because I like the way it hurts._

_Just gunna stand there and hear me cry?_

_Well, that's alright because I love the way you lie._

_I love the way you lie…_

I've been in love with Roxas Strife for years now. He is my one and only love, and no one else can have him. Here is our life story, of how it should've been, and how it actually went.

_I can't tell you what it really is; I can only tell you what it feels like._

_And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe. _

_I can't breathe, but I still fight while I can fight._

_As long as the wrong feels right, it's like I'm in flight._

I don't know what's going on anymore, really. I feel like my chest is constricting, like there's a knife in my chest. I am hurting him, unintentionally, but he still stays. Even though it feels wrong to love him and hurt him, it feels all too right.

_High off a love,  
Drunk from the hate,  
It's like I'm huffing paint,  
And I love it the more that I suffer,  
I suffocate.  
And right before I'm about to drown,  
She resuscitates me.  
She fucking hates me  
and I love it._

I feel so high from his love because I know I don't deserve him. But went I get drunk, the hate in my veins escapes into my fists. I feel loony all the time, like I'm huffing pain. I get a love high, a hate drunk, and I love how I suffer; I know it's all for him. Maybe that's why I hate him so much. He controls me with his love. But I guess that's why I love him, too. Every time I mess up, he's there to save me. I know he hates me, but he refuses to do anything about it, and I love it.

_Wait,  
Where you going?  
"I'm leaving you."  
No, you ain't!  
Come back!  
We're running right back.  
Here we go again…  
It's so insane  
Because when it's going good,  
It's going great.  
I'm Superman,  
with the wind in his bag.  
She's Lois Lane.  
But when it's bad,  
It's awful,  
I feel so ashamed.  
I snap,  
"Who's that dude?"  
I don't even know his name!_

_I laid hands on her…  
I'll never stoop so low again.  
I guess I don't know my own strength._

All good things must come to an end. "Axel, I'm leaving."

I twitch in anger. "No, you aren't!" I grab him back into the house as he tries to escape my hateful love. I don't understand him. I do all these wonderful things for him! When it's going good, I can see the remnants of our love reforming. But, then again, when it's bad… it's awful. I'm so damn ashamed.

The next day is surprisingly a good one. We go out to this restaurant around the block from the park. I see my Roxas talking to some brunette, and I snap at him.

"Who's that dude? I don't even know his name!"

Roxas furrows his brow before explaining quickly. "That's Sora, my old high school buddy." I grabbed his arm harshly and drug him home, my grip never slipping. We enter into the door and my fist collides with his beautiful face. He gets thrown to the floor, his face now purpled and bruised, blood pouring from his cheek and mouth. I guess I don't really know my own strength.

_You ever love somebody so much,  
You can barely breathe  
When you're with them?  
You meet  
And neither one of you  
Even know what hit 'em;  
Got that warm fuzzy feeling,  
Yeah them chills,  
Used to get 'em,  
Now you're getting fucking sick  
Of looking at 'em.  
You swore you've never hit 'em,  
Never do nothing to hurt 'em.  
Now you're in each other's face,  
Spewing venom  
And these words  
When you spit 'em.  
You push,  
Pull each other's hair,  
Scratch, claw, bit 'em,  
Throw 'em down,_

_Pin 'em.  
So lost in the moments  
when you're in 'em.  
It's the rage that took over,  
It controls you both.  
So they say it's best  
to go your separate ways…  
Guess that they don't know ya._

Maybe from my point of view you don't know how I felt at first. Have you ever gotten that warm, fuzzy feeling, where you can barely breathe when you're with that special someone? That's how it was with Roxas. We both felt it and neither of us knew how it hit us. Now, I get so fucking sick of seeing his face. He's always so ungrateful, and even when he's charming, it's all so damn fake. His face is always contorted in pain, and the bruises scathe his beauty. I swore in the begging I'd never hit him, never hurt him, but now we're always in each others' faces spewing venom and hate back in forth. I kick him, punch him, pull his blonde hair, bite him, I'll do anything. We get so lost in these moments… I'm surprised I haven't killed him yet. But Roxas will never know that. Everyone tells us it'd probably be best to move on, but I guess they don't really know us. It's too late to give up on each other.

_Cause today,  
That was yesterday.  
Yesterday is over.  
It's a different day.  
Sound like broken records  
playing over.  
But you promised her,  
Next time you'll show restraint.  
You don't get another chance,  
Life is no Nintendo game!  
But you lied again,  
Now you get to watch her leave  
Out the window.  
Guess that's why they call it window pane_

I think I might be able to change. But it's too late. He has packed his bags and is leaving to wait for his taxi. I don't stop him; if I did, he wouldn't trust me, and therefore he wouldn't come back. I promised I'd never hurt him again. I don't get another chance to keep him. Life isn't a Nintendo game. I don't get another 2 lives. I watch him leave through the window. I guess that's why they call it window "pain."

_Now I know we said things,  
Did things,  
That we didn't mean.  
And we fall back  
Into the same patterns,  
Same routine.  
But your temper's just as bad  
as mine is!  
You're the same as me!  
But when it comes to love,  
you're just as blinded.  
Baby, please come back!  
It wasn't you,  
Baby, it was me!_

I ran outside in a hurry. "Roxas, I know we said things and did things we both didn't mean." I know we'll fall back into our pattern of love and hate again, though. "But you know you're temper is just as bad as mine, Rox! When it comes to love, you're just as blinded! Baby, please come back! It wasn't you, it was me! I can change!" I'm lying… It had to have been you.

_Maybe our relationship  
isn't as crazy as it seems.  
Maybe that's what happens  
when a tornado meets a volcano.  
All I know is  
I love you too much  
to walk away, though!  
"Come inside;  
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk."  
Don't you hear sincerity  
in my voice when I talk?  
Told you this is my fault.  
Look me in the eyeball.  
Next time I'm pissed,  
I'll aim my fist  
at the dry wall.  
Next time-  
There will be no next time!  
I apologize  
Even though I know it's lies.  
I'm tired of the games,  
I just want her back.  
I know I'm a liar.  
If she ever tries to fucking leave again  
I'mma tie her to the bed  
And set this house on fire._

Maybe I'm not fucked up and our relationship was supposed to be like this. We're exact opposites, anyways.

"I love you too much to walk away from this, Roxas. Come on inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk." I hope he reads the sincerity in my voice while I talk. He hesitates before dropping his bags and running to my arms for a hug. Tears spill from his eyes.

"Next time, I get pissed, I'm aiming my face at the dry wall. Next time—there won't be a next time! I'm sorry." It's all lies. I just want him back, and I know I'm a liar. But I fucking vow… if he ever tries to leave again, I'm going to strap him to the bed and light this fucking house on fire.

So here I am, standing here with a lighter in one hand, a gun in the other, gasoline at my feet, and a beautiful picture of my life burning away before my eyes. I bet if I listened close enough I could hear the buckles clashing along with his muffled screams of pain and a broken heart. I always was a pyromaniac. I scoffed. My fingers went limp and the lighter slipped to the pavement. The clang it made when it hit the ground echoed in my mind. It was then that I came to realization of what I did. Not just that, but what I've been doing to him—to us both. I can't believe my own god damn hands have done. Tears stain my cheeks, and I pull the shining revolver to my forehead. I cock it, place it on my temple, and try to shush my sobs of grief, agony, and regret. Before I pull the trigger, the smooth metal fitting into my palm perfectly, I mutter three chocked words.

"I love you…"

**Bang.**

_Just gunna stand there and watch me burn?_

_Well, that's alright because I like the way it hurts._

_Just gunna stand there and hear me cry?_

_Well, that's alright because I love the way you lie._

_I love the way you lie…_


End file.
